Recently we have seen a lot of discussions going on about ‘boys locker room chats’. This is not just one case where we have seen the mindset of young Indian boys, there are always some news or the other which forces us to think about the condition of boys in our country! Why are they like this? How and when they become so mature that they start thinking and discussing openly about sex in an extremely negative, degrading and disgusting way? What goes on in their minds which even the parents are not able to figure out? So let’s try to find out what goes behind this type of pervert thinking of Indian teen age boys.
Let’s trace back the disturbed thinking pattern of adolescent guys to the time they are born in this world. So, what happens in an Indian family when a male child is born? Celebrations!! ‘Yippee, we have been blessed with a baby boy’ this is the reaction of Indian parents. The reasons for this are many! So, generally, parents rejoice, celebrate, and feel immensely proud to have given birth to a boy! See, I am not in against of celebrating on the birth of your boy, what I am trying to emphasize is- Don’t take it for granted that your boy is going to bring only happy days for you in your life! Unless and until you give him a good upbringing, don’t expect good things for yourself from him! If you are blessed with a boy, please start focussing on giving him the right education from the very beginning to avoid the chances of him turning into a monster for someone’s girl!
Indian moms generally consider it their pious duty to raise their boys with utmost love, care, and pampering! They think they should only encourage their boys to be strong and feel powerful. Boys are asked to play their favorite games and devote time to studies as they have to grow up into a man who will be earning money and feeding his family. This is okay. What’s not okay is to never train them in any household chores, to never ask for any help from them in cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., to never make them do all their works by themselves. In some of the traditional households, it’s a culture that men and boys will eat first and then the women and girls. Similarly, mothers take pride in serving hot phulkas to their little men right in their dinner plate! They also serve them a glass of water while they sit royally in their chairs. If their son gets physically hurt and feels pain they say “Mard ko dard nahi hota” (men don’t feel pain!) When their son feels some kind of emotional pain and cries, they say- “Ladke rote nahi” (boys don’t cry!) this kind of rubbish statements builds up ‘toxic masculinity’ in boys. They grow up to be insensitive, uncompassionate individuals looking at girls as being ‘weaker’ to them and as if God created them just to be dominated by them in all their roles- wife, mother, sister, girlfriend, and so on.
Some of the boys’ ego gets so swollen up that they are not able to tolerate it if their wife earns more than them. I have seen many such men who don’t like to join a particular company only because of the reason that the boss there is a lady! Yes, it’s true they are not able to work under a woman because of being raised in an environment where they have always seen women being subordinate to men. Their male-ego doesn’t allow them to see women sitting on a higher post and giving them commands. The same reason also goes behind all types of crimes and violence these type of men inflict on women. Domestic violence, rapes, marital rapes, throwing acid on women, infidelity all such crimes stem from toxic masculinity and swollen male ego the credit to which go to a large extent to families who bring them up in such a way!
I request all moms to boys to please stop making their sons feel like kings and raise them as normal human beings; human beings who cook, clean, wash, raise kids and feel happy seeing women succeeding in their lives; human beings who don’t believe in dominating the other gender but in giving freedom and equality. When this happens there will be no more violence and cruelty against women, no more dirty and disgusting locker room chats degrading girls and planning to gang-rape them.